Long Black Veil
by FranziT
Summary: Ginny is thinking about life, death and her undying love for a certain person. Songfic to "Long Black Veil" by The Stranglers.


**Summary:** Ginny is thinking about life, death and her undying love for a certain person. Songfic for "_Long Black Veil_" by The Stranglers. 

**Rating: **G

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot.

**A/N: **I'm Swedish so there might be some minor spelling- and grammar mistakes. This fic I wrote only because I find the text absolutely stunning. It resembles the events of OotP too good, so I just couldn't keep my fingers off of it. Usually don't like songfics, but we'll see how you like this one. Enjoy!

* * *

_Life was good for a short while_

It hurts thinking about the time before the end. Being reminded of it tears my little heart in pieces that are left shattered on the floor. It was so wonderful. The time with him. Just him and I. Together, against all the prejudices. I know it sounds cliché, but when I was with him I was free. Free and without all the memories I wanted to suppress.

_Hot sweet nights, days that were fine_

It wasn't surprising that he was my first. Probably my last too for that matter. Right now it feels like no one is ever going to be able to touch me. Just the mere thought of it disgusts me. I still feel his touch burning on my skin, his sweet, demanding lips on mine, our bodies brushing against each other and his fingers tangled in my hair.

_Spent many hours just looking at you_

It wasn't just the act in itself it was everything afterwards. Our long discussions and the tender words whispered in my ear. We talked about everything and nothing. Being silent in his company was so easy. But I told him about Tom too. Finally, I felt that the time was right. I revealed all the secrets I had kept to myself for so many years. Never have I opened up to anyone like I did to him while we were together.

_Heart stopped beating for a moment or two_

I realised I was in love with him after we'd talked for the first time. I mean _really_ talked. He understood me. He shared my pain. I wasn't alone anymore. And that felt so good. It never bothered me that he was so much older. I knew he cared about it, for my family's sake and for mine. He knew they'd never approve. I thought that that wouldn't matter. We had each other. I proved to be quite wrong.

_Long black veil, now you are mine_

They are here. He's gone. For good. _  
  
Sun went down never to rise_

I had never thought that it would end up like that. It was just a fun thing. Following Harry to the Department of Mysteries, I mean. Never had I thought about the consequences our actions would have. He was strong. He shouldn't have gone like that. He shouldn't.

_Lost in tears filling my eyes_

I cry a lot. Not on the outside, though. My tears are shed. I have cried far too much the last year. I can't remember a night I've been content and calm. It's sick. I shouldn't feel like this. It's his fault. Why did he go?

_Saw my love trampled deep in the dirt_

I had no one to talk to either. We had kept it a secret, and now it felt childish to tell anyone. But I need to talk. I have to get it out of me. It's tearing me apart from the inside and I just want to fall down onto my knees and scream out all the pain. It probably wouldn't help though. So why bother trying.

_Overwhelmed by the bitterest hurt  
_

I can see myself in forty years or so. An old lady, loved by no one, grieving for the one love she never really had. The days we spent suddenly seem so short. There is a whole life ahead of me, and I don't feel like living anymore. Not without him. It's pointless.

_Long black veil, now you are mine_

Why did you leave me?_  
  
I've lately felt a stirring_

I've thought about giving up. Just giving in to the voices in my head, telling me to end all of this. I'm just here. For no reason. Just living, with no future plans, whatsoever. Pathetic isn't it? But no one does really understand. No one feels the fist clenching my heart; no one sees how bitter the world is. No one, but me. I'm all alone.

_Of ghosts around my mind_

Sometimes I feel like he's here. Like he's actually holding my hand and giving me comfort. I know he isn't though. How could he? He left me. He left this world behind. Didn't even put up a fight. I want to scream at him, hit him, and ask him why did he go. But I can't. Because he's dead.

_And I'm frightened of the things that I might find_

I loved him. Regardless of his feelings for me. He loved me though. I knew it. I don't know how, but it was there. The feeling of being loved. Like a tingle, making all the little hairs on my body rise, sending shivers down my spine. That feeling's gone now. Forever.

_The veil of black that claimed you, and took you from my sight_

I still don't understand the point of this. I still don't understand why this had to be the way it is. I needed him, and I can't go on with my life without him. But he will never hear me say those three little words again. The words making him shiver. The words which are so plain and simple, but still so complex and deep. The words describing all I feel for him. How I love him. But I'll have to go on. Despite all the pain, I'll have to go on. I just don't know if I can.

_Has marched across the sands of time tonight_

I miss you, Sirius. I miss you.


End file.
